How do you tell your husband, best friend, lover that his ever-increasing stomach worries you - and not hurt his feelings?
Does one say it matter-of-factly? Nonchalantly? Does one hint around? Casually leave health reports about weight and diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, etc. lying about?
When I met my husband he had been jogging several times weekly for a time. He was slim and taut and had no love handles. I don't know what happened. Five years later, he NEVER exercises, he smokes too much, drinks heavily, and can stuff more food into his mouth in one sitting than I ever thought humanly possible.
I don't know what to do to help him, inspire him, push him. If I casually bring up his lack of exercise, or ask about when HE plans to run/walk/exercise, his response is "We'll get there." Whah? He says the same thing about quitting smoking.... "We'll get there." All that really means is "I'm too lazy and I don't care enough to change anything."
I love this man more than I have ever loved another person (other than my children), but I'm afraid of what he is doing to his body, what he is letting himself become.
In the meantime, I will keep on keepin' on. I am on a mission from which I cannot be deterred. Not for anything. Not for anyone. This one is for me.
Twenty-five years ago
they spoke out
and they broke out
of recession and oppression
and together they toked
and they folked out
with guitars around a bonfire
just singin' and clappin'
Man, what the hell happened?
Guess some were spell bound,
some were hell bound,
Some they fell down,
and some got back up
and fought back 'gainst the melt down.
And their kids were hippie chicks
or hypocrites
because fashion is smashin'
the true meaning of it.
So don't delay, act now!
Supplies are running out!
Allow, if you're still alive,
six to eight years to arrive.
And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow.
But if the offer's shun,
you might as well be walking on the sun.
Walkin' on the Sun - Smash Mouth
2 comments:
First off - I don't think feeling less attracted to him makes you any of those things. You married someone for their entire package and when part of that package starts to spoil it's completely understandable why you might not be attracted to him.
How to approach him about it? That one's tough. Being that everyone is different it's hard to give good advice on that. It's easy to say to just be honest and tell him how you feel...but then there are his feelings to consider like you said. Maybe if you approached it from a health stand point "I've been noticing a big change in your health habits - lack of exercise, too much smoking, weight gain...it worries me." He may just brush that off too. Maybe if he does you'll have to decide whether to get brutally honest with him.
Have you asked him to run with you? Course you may not want company...I know running company sometimes just plain bugs me!
I don't think I've been very helpful in my rambling. I hope the answer comes to you and the two of you can straighten this out!
Tag you're it!
I meme-d you.
The link:
http://minivanbohemian.blogspot.com/2008/02/123not-it.html
7 random or weird things about yourself
The rules are as follows:
# Link to the person who tagged you
# Post the rules on your blog.
# Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
# Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
# Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged.
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