Thank gawd - there are others!

I just logged on for my daily and new-found "release" and saw some comments. Wow! What excites me is that I realize that I am NOT alone. It would seem that there are at least several people floating around on this planet who share some or many of the very same thoughts and actions [read: dysfunctions] as I. What a relief!

While I do hate to rattle on and on about the aches and pains of life, using this outlet gives me the ability to rant and rave just to get it off my chest and out of my head. It feels damn good, I must say, just to see it in black and white. I am so sick of letting crap live rent free in my head.

I'm upset for having to miss running yesterday, but I felt it necessary to (1) give the knees more rest and (2) greet "the 'rents" properly. Today is another day and another story, and I will most certainly be taking that much-needed run, for today is about me.

And while I'm in my admission du jour phase, I guess I have to admit (at least to myself) that running is ALWAYS about me. I don't want to take the dog. I don't want to run with hubby. I don't want a running partner. My run is mine and mine alone. If I can't find time alone, which I desperately need and crave, then I must TAKE time; steal it, if you will.

In this last year I've begun to feel that the sheer repetitiveness of my days is slowly killing me, gnawing at my core, sapping my brain.....Each weekday I crawl out of bed, make sure both kids are up, get ready, rush downstairs and shuttle kids into the car, pick up another kid for carpool, rush to school to drop kids off [no luxury of a bus at this ridiculously expensive school - and this rant is for another show, Oprah], rush to work, work till 4:30, rush home....And each day I reach for Friday - my golden ring. I am literally wishing my life away.

I want to spend this wasted time experiencing life and beauty. The painter in me has been supressed for far too long, and the amateur photographer in me rarely has time to stop and record the beauty I see....and there is so much. My artist alter ego is trying to take over now, and fighting to get out. Now and then I do find the time to let her venture out. I recently took some friends to Stone Mountain for the day and caught the following:







Lately I've even begun to really notice and appreciate the beauty in the many buildings in downtown Atlanta, where I work - especially in the afternoon on my way home. Most of the time I only have my cell phone with which to attempt to capture what I see, but now and then I remember to toss my camera in the car.

Beauty can be found in running too. The rhythmic sound of shoes hitting pavement. The pattern of breaths. The knowing look and nod from others running. The cold winter air. The people bustling about. The dogs. The perfectly manicured yards. The flush after a run.... even the pains of running are beautiful on some level.

And so to my fellow moms, runners, artists, photographers, gardeners, music lovers, writers, and thinkers, I send my warmest wishes and my heartfelt gratitude at simply knowing you are indeed out there.